Chapter 17 The dog is begging for food; he is praying for love.

Chapter 17 The dog is begging for food; he is praying for love.

Du Li hopped around in pain, clutching his aching foot. Passersby burst into laughter, and he felt incredibly embarrassed. He endured the pain and limped away.

On the way back, Du Li felt more and more that life was meaningless. No one saw what he had done and what he had sacrificed. No one cared about him. No one knew how to be grateful. What did all the suffering and pain he had endured matter?

"You damn dog! If you try to steal my medicine again, I'll kill you!" A man wearing an apron chased a white dog onto the road, brandishing a kitchen knife.

The white dog ran across the bridge, and the man stopped chasing it. He stood on the bridge, cursing and swearing.

Blocked from the road, Du Li simply sat down by the river, slumped over, and looked at the passersby on the opposite bank. They were all laughing, just like Meng Qing, their laughter radiant and their expressions lively, as if they were fearless. He, on the other hand, was like that wretched white dog, dragging his dirty body along the street, cautiously searching for food discarded by others.

The dog is begging for food; he is praying for love.

His parents disliked him, his eldest brother suppressed him, and his third brother didn't appreciate his kindness. No matter what he did, it was wrong.

"Da Mao, dinner's ready!" A voice called out from a house by the river.

The dog looked up, and Du Li followed the sound. He saw a little boy with a single braid running happily home, the white dog wagging its tail to greet him. After a while, the boy secretly brought out a bowl of rice, shared half with the dog, and the boy and dog squatted by the wall, each eating their own.

Du Li straightened up and stood up. There were still people waiting for him to go back for dinner. He crossed the bridge and walked towards Jiayufang, walking faster and faster until he started running.

*

At the Meng family home, the aroma of mutton was so enticing that it made mouths water. Meng Chun kept going out to look around, wondering, "Why hasn't my brother-in-law come back yet?"

On his fifth trip out, he bumped into a man sweating profusely as he rushed home. Startled, he tried to close the door. "Brother-in-law? What happened? Is someone chasing you?"

Hearing the commotion, the people in the backyard came out one after another. Meng Qing asked in confusion, "What happened?"

Du Li ran away, venting his frustration. He slumped to the ground, panting, and said, "It's nothing. I was worried about coming back late, so I ran all the way back."

"I'm afraid I married a fool." Meng Qing couldn't take it anymore.

Mencius' mother chuckled; it was truly rare to find a man of his age with such a temperament.

Meng Chun helped Du Li up and said, "Luckily you ran back. If you had been any later, I would have worn the threshold down. Where's Brother Du? Can't find him?"

"If he doesn't come, don't even think about him when there's good food." This time, Du Li didn't cover for Du Min; she wouldn't even feed meat to a dog.

"Why didn't you come? Are you embarrassed?" Mother Meng didn't notice anything amiss and laughed, "You two brothers are both so polite."

“He’s not just being polite; he probably looks down on him,” Du Li said expressionlessly. “Mother, you don’t need to worry about him; he has plenty to eat.”

The expression on Mencius' mother's face froze. Knowing it was one thing, but having it said so casually was another.

Meng Chun stopped holding his hand and started pinching him, pinching Du Li hard. Du Li gritted his teeth and didn't utter a sound.

“If he’s not eating, we’ll eat more,” Meng Qing chimed in. “Let’s eat, I’m so hungry I can’t produce any more milk.”

Mencius' mother slapped her, "You have a mouth, spouting nonsense in front of so many people... Don't you know shame?"

Meng Qing laughed and ran off to get some mutton soup. Three catties of mutton were stewed and served with two bowls of chive juice as a dipping sauce.

"Eat the meat first, then soak the rice in the broth." She brought the meat to the table.

Meng's mother first scooped out most of a bowl for Meng's father, then scooped out a full bowl of meat for Du Li, saying, "Son-in-law, eat more. You do physical labor, so you mustn't be too thin."

Du Li took the bowl with both hands. He tried to force a smile, but two hot tears streamed down his face. He hurriedly lowered his head.

Meng's mother was stunned. She looked at Meng Qing questioningly, but Meng Qing waved his hand. She pretended not to see anything and asked casually, "Son, should I serve you or should you serve yourself?"

"I'll do it myself."

“I remember we still have some wine at home, right? How about we have some?” Meng’s father suggested.

Mencius' mother frowned and glared at him, telling him to behave himself and not to get people drunk. If they cry when they're sober, they'll cry even more when they're drunk.

Meng's father ignored her and ordered Meng Chun to fetch wine.

Meng Chun looked at Meng Qing, and only after Meng Qing nodded did he go to get it.

“Son-in-law, this is leftover wine from Qingniang’s wedding. Your mother always told me not to drink it, insisting that it be saved for when guests come. Since you’re here today, have a bowl with me.”

After composing himself, Du Li nodded and said, "Okay, I'll drink with Dad."

Meng's father was a seasoned drinker, while Du Li had only touched alcohol a handful of times. After a bowl of sake, he became tipsy.

"Don't get dizzy from drinking, because getting drunk is bad for your health." Seeing that the time was right, Meng's father put away the wine bowl and urged Du Li to eat the meat.

After dinner, Meng Chun helped Du Li back to his room to sleep. Meng's father whispered outside, "Qingniang, he's drunk and his guard is down. Go and talk to him, see what he's holding back. If he has something to say, let him speak. Don't keep him bottled up."

"It's pitiful. What kind of life does he live? He can't even bear a few words of concern from me." Meng's mother felt sorry for him. "What a good child. That old woman Jiang doesn't know how to cherish him and just keeps ruining him. She'll regret it later."

Meng Qing nodded.

Meng Chun came out of the house and said, "My brother-in-law is quite obedient even though he's drunk. He'll lift his foot when told to lift it, and take off his shoes when told to take them off. He's very obedient."

“If he had the temper to make a scene, would he still be bullied at home?” Meng Qing said. “Fortunately, good bamboo shoots come from bad bamboo. He’s not like the Du family, who are heartless and snobbish. If you treat him three points well, he will remember seven points.”

Meng Qing allowed herself to be calculating and shrewd, but she couldn't accept that the person next to her was full of cunning. She was quite satisfied with Du Li's personality; as a neglected second son, he only tormented himself with his inner suffering, and wasn't the kind of person who was easily angered and prone to violent outbursts.

Meng's father had to go to guard the shop, so he took Meng Chun with him to avoid leaving him at home in the way.

"I'll take Wangzhou out for a walk." Meng's mother also made room for the young couple.

After everyone in the family left, Meng Qing brought a bowl of warm water into the bedroom. She walked to the bedside, placed the bowl on the wardrobe, and then knelt down on the other side of the bed, asking softly, "Du Li, are you thirsty? Would you like some water?"

Du Li opened his eyes. He was dizzy but his mind was clear. He said methodically, "Leave the water here. I'll drink it myself if I'm thirsty. You go and do your own thing."

“I’m not busy. I was planning to call Du Min over to ask how his policy essay was going. I was thinking it would be best if his policy essay made a name for itself before I handed the finished paper horse to Gu Wuxia. He didn’t come at noon, so I have nothing to do this afternoon.” Meng Qing deliberately brought up Du Min. She took off her shoes and coat and pushed him, saying, “Lie down over there. I’ll come up and take a nap too.”

Du Li moved over in silence.

Meng Qing pulled the thin blanket over her stomach, lay down, closed her eyes, and pretended to be going to sleep. She didn't listen to anything or ask any questions, but she kept her ears open to the sounds around her.

After the fifty-third exhale, Du Li couldn't hold back any longer. He complained, "I had a fight with my third brother. I only found out today that he also has objections to Wangzhou's full moon banquet. He thinks we spent his money."

Meng Qing suddenly opened her eyes. "My younger brother went to your house to inform you about the full moon celebration. He was there too. I remember he agreed and even wanted to bring his classmates back for dinner."

“That’s right.” Du Li remembered it clearly too. He said sadly, “Not a single penny of the money in the house was earned by him, yet he has the nerve to put all the money in his own name. Can’t I, the one who earns the money, use it? What does he take me for? Even if I sold myself into servitude as a slave or a farmhand, I would still get paid, wouldn’t I?”

Meng Qing was angry. "Did you say that to him? What did he say?"

"No, I didn't have time to say it."

"Talk to him clearly next time you meet. Or why don't you go see him again tomorrow?" Meng Qing suggested.

“I won’t go, it’s pointless. He’s like my parents, their hearts can’t be warmed. No matter how much I do, they won’t appreciate it. They’ll never listen to what I say, and they’ll even find me annoying and noisy, telling me to shut up. I can’t understand, am I an idiot or a fool? How much do they despise me? I don’t even have the right to speak at home.” At this point, Du Li silently shed tears, and he said sadly, “Sometimes I wonder if I’m a ghost, a shadow, that they can’t hear my voice. But they still find me annoying. I must be a dog; I think I’m talking, but they think I’m barking.”

It was so heartbreaking. Meng Qing's eyes welled up with tears, and she reached out to hug him.

“I don’t know what I’m still alive for. Why didn’t they smother me while I was sleeping?” Du Li covered his eyes with his hand, his voice trembling as he choked up. “I’ve been trying to please them. I’ve tried to please my parents, my eldest brother, and even my third brother since I was little, all to make them like me. But it was no use. They thought I was born to fawn over them and treated me like a dog.”

"Then it's no use trying to please him." Meng Qing wiped away his tears.

Du Li wasn't going to try to please them anymore; he wasn't going to be a dog anymore.

"Will you dislike me?" he asked seriously.

"I don't mind." Meng Qing didn't know what Du Li would be like in the decades to come, and she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't mind him, but she didn't mind him at this moment.

Du Li wasn't thinking clearly; he didn't hear the difference. He pressed his advantage and asked, "Shall I come to your house and become a live-in son-in-law?"

Meng Qing paused, then asked with a smile, "You've entered my Meng family, becoming a son-in-law of lowly status, and lost your land. How will you support me and the children?"

"That's true. I was just kidding." Du Li knew he was joking, and he knew perfectly well what Meng Qing wanted from marrying him.

"You've already put in so much effort, don't just abandon us when it's time to reap the rewards. You have to get back two or three times what you've given, or you'll be letting yourself down," Meng Qing reminded him.

Du Li listened attentively and fell into deep thought.

Meng Qing still held him close, pondering how such biased parents could bully him for ten years straight, even though they were both sons and their own flesh and blood.

"Du Li, are you your father's child?" she asked rudely.

"Of course I am," Du Li said excitedly.

"Is he also your mother's biological son? That's strange. Judging from your appearance, you must have been lovable when you were little. Du Min is four years younger than you. Your parents should have developed feelings for you during those four years," Meng Qing analyzed for him.

“I am her biological child. She doesn’t like me because I was away from her for a few years. When I was five months old, she got pregnant again, but the pregnancy was unstable. The old people in the village said it would be best to wean me so that she would have enough blood to nourish the fetus. But after I was weaned, I didn’t eat or drink. In the end, my parents chose to save the one that had already been born. Whether the one in my belly could be saved was up to fate.”

“When I was seven months old, my mother miscarried. She had severe bleeding and needed medication to stay alive. She didn’t have the energy to take care of me, so my aunt took me back home. I wasn’t sent back until I was three years old and my mother could work in the fields. When I was sent back, I wasn’t close to my family and cried every day. Before I could get used to living in a new home, she got pregnant again. She thought my crying at home was like mourning and worried that something would happen to the baby, so she sent me back to my aunt’s house. When Du Min was one year old, my aunt died, and I finally returned to my own home,” Du Li explained. “Everyone in the village knows about this. It’s impossible that I’m not my parents’ biological child.”

"I see." Meng Qing understood.

“I can understand why my mother doesn’t like me, but why doesn’t my father like me either? I’m not as smart as my third brother, but I’m more capable than my eldest brother. He often cheats and slacks off, and my father scolds him, but he still likes him.” Du Li said in confusion.

"Are you sober now?" Meng Qing asked. "You won't forget what I'm telling you now once you sober up, will you?"

The intoxication had vanished with his tears, and Du Li was certain he was now sober.

“Okay, then I’ll tell you.” Meng Qing understood and stopped beating around the bush. She wanted to make Du Li realize the truth completely. She sat up and looked down at him, saying, “The biggest reason your parents don’t like you is that you have no value. You have no extra value to them. Your only value is doing farm work, so your status is equivalent to that of an ox.”

Tears welled up in Du Li's eyes. "I was born of them. If they can't love me, why did they give birth to me? Why did they raise me?"

"They have sons to provide for them in their old age, to ensure their lineage doesn't end. Many parents love their children, but not unconditionally. Your parents have three sons. The eldest has offspring, and he plays the role of providing for them in their old age and ensuring the family line continues. The youngest is smart and studious, and he plays the role of bringing honor to the family. And you? What makes you special? The value you give them is something they don't care about; your value is just that of a hired hand," Meng Qing said scathingly. "Let me tell you, if you have no value, your parents will look down on you and despise you. Of course, you're not the only one; it's the same for many people."

Stung, Du Li retorted, "You too? Your parents like you because you're valuable?"

“Yes.” Meng Qing readily admitted, “If I hadn’t helped the paper horse shop develop, if I hadn’t helped my parents make money, if I hadn’t contributed to buying this house, would I have been able to take away 120 strings of cash as dowry? Would I have been able to take the child back to my parents’ home to live for a long time? You’re a father now, so put your hand on your heart and answer honestly, if Wang Zhou were to achieve nothing in the future, would you be willing to empty your savings to help him get a wife, and happily work hard to raise his wife and child? Would you despise him?”

Du Li refused to think about it. He said angrily, "I will not let my child be like me. Even if he ends up begging for food, I will not despise him. If I ever look down on my child, I will jump into the river and drown myself. I mean what I say."

Meng Qing remained silent. Seeing him panting heavily, she smiled and said, "Having you as my father is the best gift I can give Wangzhou."

Du Li pushed her away, saying, "Stay away from me. I look down on you. Your parents treat you so well, and you still think the worst of them."

Turning around, Du Li couldn't help but wonder how a harmonious family could raise someone with Meng Qing's personality? Had she also suffered a loss?