Chapter 219 Going to bed

Chapter 219 Going to bed

Go to bed!

Xie Yan's eyes flickered almost imperceptibly, her fingers curled up. Was it a mistake by the palace servants, or was it something she had arranged?

Xie Yan was hesitant to think about it, afraid that she would say she was mistaken, afraid that her hopes would be dashed.

He felt as if his heart was being pulled along by her and Cheng'er, and even the slightest thing could cause his emotions to fluctuate.

Sometimes high mountains, sometimes the seabed.

During that moment of waiting, his Adam's apple bobbed with nervousness, and his palms were sweating.

But then they heard Shen Nanzi ask the palace maid, "Is the bath water ready?"

The palace maid replied, "It's ready."

Shen Nanzi left directly with the palace servants, leaving Xie Yan behind.

She was momentarily at a loss. Should she keep him, or not?

Xie Yan stood inside the hall, looking at the sky outside, where the night was deep.

A palace maid came to report that the imperial physician was coming in to deliver medicine.

After hearing this, Xie Yan walked out immediately.

When Shen Nanzi came out wearing her undergarments, she saw that there was no one on the bed. She went outside to look, but there was no one there either. She breathed a long sigh of relief and felt a sense of ease.

It seems like things are back to normal now that he's gone.

Shen Nanzi entered the palace, lay down on the bed, and looked up at the ceiling.

Cheng'er became the empress, her brother was brought back to life, and she became the most honored woman in the world.

She had everything except that worthless love; what else was not worth it?

After driving Cang Jue out of Yunhan and bringing peace to the world, Xie Yan and his brother will help Cheng'er govern Yunhan.

She could really just lie back and be an empress dowager, indulging in eating, drinking, and having fun.

These days sound wonderful.

Find Liefeng a wife so he'll have a home and won't be lonely, and have a few more children.

Now that he's a general and the man who raised the emperor, there must be many noblewomen lining up to marry him.

When she had some free time, she would also host a flower-viewing banquet and let him choose a wife.

Then there's Xie Yu!

Xie Yu!!

It seems that the person she feels most sorry for and owes the most to is him.

Thinking of Xie Yu made her heart ache, and she sighed deeply.

That guy!

well!

I'm afraid I'll have to let her down for the rest of my life!

...

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

But in the middle of the night, he suddenly woke up.

She knew why she had woken up; there was a familiar scent of ambergris at her nose, with a lingering sandalwood aroma—it was Xie Yan's scent.

Turning her head, she heard a soft breathing sound beside her. In the darkness, she could make out the outline of his face.

Sharp eyebrows, a high nose bridge, and a prominent Adam's apple.

Shen Nanzi withdrew her gaze, looked at the top of the tent, and moved her hand, only to find it was being held in his palm.

It had a slightly rough feel to it, and he held it in his hand with a firm but not too tight grip.

"Shen Nanzi!"

In the quiet night, his voice was clear and deep, as if he had never slept.

He intertwined his fingers with hers, holding her hand tightly.

Shen Nanzi tried to pull away, but he held her even tighter.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong all these years, I misunderstood you."

"I have made you and Cheng'er suffer. I am neither a good husband nor a good father."

Shen Nanzi remained silent, listening to his voice.

"I've been thinking about explaining this to you, but I'm worried that you don't trust me."

"I was thinking of explaining to you after everything settled down."

"However, some things always go astray and happen in ways that are difficult to control."

"I know this apology is too weak and ineffective."

"No matter what I do, I can never make up for the harm I caused you and Cheng'er all those years ago."

He kneaded her hand, "I want to tell you that I'm very happy that you and Cheng'er can stay."

"I know you no longer have feelings for me..." His voice seemed to choke up, "From now on, please let me be good to you, okay?"

Shen Nanzi was clear-headed, but she didn't know how to respond to him.

She doesn't need to apologize; they should just treat each other with respect.

Her body cannot possess something as burdensome as emotions.

She cherishes her life and just wants to live well.

She pursed her lips and comforted me, "You don't need to blame yourself. It's my fault for being so wishful back then and not finding out the facts."

"If I had known earlier that you and Xue Qingning were in love, I definitely would not have asked for a marriage decree."

Speaking of Xue Qingning, Xie Yan suddenly turned to the side and leaned over her.

He stared into her eyes, his gaze filled with both fear and sincerity.

"We were preparing to get married, and at that time I was filled with gratitude towards the Xue family."

"Xue Yubai and Grand Tutor Xue have been kind to me. By marrying Xue Qingning, I can be bound to the Xue family."

“I longed to have a home; the Xue family back then was very loving.”

"At that time, I had nothing. Without the Xue family, there would be no Xie Yan."

"Shen Nanzi, do you understand what I'm saying?"

Shen Nanzi looked at him and said, "I understand!"

Hearing her clearly perfunctory words, Xie Yan smiled bitterly, stroking her face, his fingers feeling its smooth texture.

“I have never crossed any lines with her, and Hong’er is not my son. Please don’t misunderstand.”

Shen Nanzi didn't really care; Xue Qingning was already dead, and everything was in the past.

She just wants to live the rest of her life well.

Seeing the indifference in her eyes, Xie Yan swallowed the rest of his words with a sense of defeat.

He didn't know how to win her heart back.

Her indifference made his chest ache.

He couldn't control his heart, nor could he control his body's longing for her.

When she was clearly distracted, his lips pressed down on hers.

His lips were filled with guilt towards her, and also with affection that had risen from nowhere.

Each time we meet, my remorse deepens.

At first, he thought he only felt sorry for her, but along with the apology, he developed a possessive desire for her.

She felt a pang of jealousy, especially when she saw other men being nice to her.

Especially when he saw her sleeping in the same bed with Xie Yu, he wanted nothing more than to kill Xie Yu.

It was then that he realized that his feelings for her went beyond mere apology; there were also affections he was unaware of.

Perhaps it lies in his perceived hatred, perhaps in the eight years of entanglement, or perhaps in the long years of confrontation.

Perhaps, in the marital intimacy she forced upon him, his heart did find a tiny bit of peace.

She was somewhat stunned, perhaps not expecting him to do this. Taking advantage of her momentary daze, he pried open her teeth and began to entangle with her.

Since she stayed, his purpose for the rest of his life was to win back her heart.

Find the girl who once loved her.

Whether by force, seduction, or anything else, he would stop at nothing to get her to look at him even once.

His kiss was intense and passionate, expressing his unspoken love for her.

"Thank you, Yan!" Shen Nanzi seemed to have all the air sucked out of her, and pushed his shoulders with both hands.

His body was becoming restless. Before he touched her, he could still control himself, but now, he could no longer control his body.

I just want more.

Being with her became the only thought in his mind.

He seemed to have lost control, like a young man experiencing his first love, eager to prove his love with his body.

Her indifferent gaze really hurt him.

"Shen Nanzi! Shen Nanzi!"

Shen Nanzi was called by his deep and shallow voices, and his sudden kiss caught her off guard.

She thought that they should first have a peaceful sleep together, and then proceed gradually with mutual respect.

She could coexist peacefully with Cheng'er for his sake, after all, she got everything she wanted.