Chapter 31 Giving Up

Chapter 31 Giving Up

"It's not entirely hopeless."

"Tell me! How can I survive? I'll do anything to live as long as I can."

The imperial physician said, "Only by opening your heart and relieving your worries can you alleviate the situation; otherwise, even a god could not save you."

"Heart knots are hard to heal; only self-salvation can save you."

Shen Nanzi didn't speak again. She thought of her mother. Back then, her father favored his concubine over his wife, and her mother was so angry that she vomited blood like this.

The doctor who treated her said the same thing, but her father still ignored her mother and said that she was faking her illness, allowing the concubine to continue to anger her mother.

My mother passed away before she could live for two years.

She also had an unhappy marriage and a long-term strained relationship with Xie Yan, which was remarkably similar to her mother's situation.

Loving a man who doesn't love you back, even if you try to hide it with hatred, will still kill you.

Shen Nanzi looked outside the screen and saw only Lie Feng's figure; Xie Yan hadn't come.

I've stopped hoping! I'm never hoping again!

If loving Xie Yan means risking her life for it, then she will regret it!

I loved him for ten years and hated him for eight. That's enough!

She would no longer act like a clown in front of him, simply hoping to get a little attention from him.

But he never showed her any tenderness or pity, only indifference and ruthlessness.

Ten years of misplaced love; from now on, I will live only for myself.

It's none of her business who he loves. She won't get angry or cling to him anymore. If he's destined to be unable to leave, she'll take back her heart and nurture it properly.

She must live well; there are still many worthwhile people and things in this world.

No sooner had the imperial physician left than Xie Chengze came to her bedside, his eyes red, and touched her hand.

"Mother, does it hurt?"

Looking at the child she had raised, Shen Nanzi remembered the imperial physician's words: she absolutely could not die before he came of age.

"It hurts! The doctor stuck so many needles in my head, it hurts so much!"

She pretended to be in pain, then suddenly changed her expression, playfully pinching Xie Chengze's cheek, "But it doesn't hurt anymore!"

Xie Chengze hugged her neck tightly, his voice choked with emotion, "Mother, you must take good care of yourself."

Shen Nanzi stroked her son's soft little body, "Mommy is fine! Don't cry, my child!"

How could Xie Chengze not cry! He witnessed his mother vomiting blood and collapsing in the room; heaven knows how terrified he was at that moment.

He heard every word the imperial physician said: his mother was ill!

His father, Prince Jing, has yet to send back a single word.

His little hands clenched into fists, he hated that he couldn't grow up quickly and protect his mother.

"It's alright, Mother. As long as you don't get angry in the future, you'll be fine."

Shen Nanzi knew he was frightened, just like she and her brother had been years ago. She hugged him and whispered words of advice in his ear.

"From now on, your mother will not argue with your father. Your father has people he needs to protect. No matter what you hear or see in the future, don't take it to heart."

"Cheng'er has his mother, that's enough. He doesn't need his father. The most important thing is for us to live happily. As for the rest, let nature take its course. If it comes, it comes; if it doesn't, it doesn't."

"Did you understand what your mother said?"

Xie Chengze raised his head, his beautiful eyes showing a rare maturity. "I understand. From now on, it will only be my mother and I who depend on each other."

"Cheng'er will study hard and not let his mother worry."

"Our Cheng'er is already very good at studying, does he want to be even better?" Shen Nanzi said with a smile. "Mother just wants Cheng'er to be happy."

Xie Cheng shook his head, "When I grow up, I want to be a strong person and protect my mother."

Shen Nanzi wiped away the tears from his eyes.

Having such a son brings great comfort to the old mother's heart!

Cheng'er was taken away by her aunt. Shen Nanzi got up, wrapped in a cloak, and stood in front of the window, her figure slender.

The snow was still falling softly outside, and the plum blossoms outside the window were in full bloom, like drops of blood on the chest.

Tears streamed down her face uncontrollably, as if mourning her ten years together, or perhaps mocking the marriage itself.

Lie Feng looked at her with eyes full of sorrow. He reached out several times, wanting to give her some small comfort, but in the end, he could only stand beside her.

"Liefeng, I want to live," she said softly.

"If you let go of Prince Jing, Miss can live a good life."

"I know, but we can't escape our current identities."

"Let's go home."

Shen Nanzi looked out the window, "What about Ke Cheng'er?"

He is of royal blood, and she cannot even go home to live there; it is even more impossible for Cheng'er.

"Once Miss has recovered, we'll ask Grand Commandant Shen if he has any solutions."

"Yes! That's the only way!"

Xie Yan ultimately did not come to visit her, and Shen Nanzi's last hope was completely shattered.

Even if the cats and dogs kept in Prince Jing's mansion are sick, you can't be so cruel!

Ten years couldn't earn him even a single glance.

From that moment on, Prince Jing, Xie Yan, was completely uprooted in Shen Nanzi's heart.

In this lifetime, I will never again feel any ripples for him.

Shen Nanzi loved Xie Yan, but after this incident, she finally understood that she could let him go.

＊

After Xie Yan entered the Prince Jing's residence, he would frequently look up, for he had confronted her brother in the court that day.

Standing against all the officials, she protected Xue Qingning and her son. She must have received the news to claim illness and send someone to summon him.

She was furious and was bound to cause a ruckus, so naturally he didn't come back.

After court, fearing that she would find out that the Second Prince and his mother lived next door to the Pear Courtyard, he went there to keep an eye on her.

He didn't return home until late at night, assuming she would be waiting for him on his way back to his room.

Therefore, it has been instructed that Wuying should be knocked unconscious and sent back when she appears.

But even after walking into the house, she was nowhere to be seen.

He then asked Stone, "Has she sent anyone to inquire?"

Shi Tou was unaware of what had happened in the court that day; he only knew that a doctor had been summoned to the Jing Prince's residence, saying that the Jing Prince's wife was unwell.

However, since His Highness has never cared about Princess Jing, he dared not mention her without His Highness's permission.

Xie Yan thought that she might suddenly come to his yard and make a scene while he was taking a bath or while he was sleeping.

With her personality, she couldn't resist.

But he waited until dawn, and she still hadn't appeared.

This time she was really calm, which surprised him.

She knew she would definitely block him tomorrow morning; this was a trick she often used.

The next day, he did not see her even after he went out. He felt relieved and quickly left in his carriage.

Xie Yan's confrontation with civil and military officials and his open defense of the two imperial concubines and their children soon became as common as snowflakes falling into every household.

It became a topic of conversation during leisure time.

Shen Nanzi lay in bed for two days without any other symptoms, as if the day she vomited blood and collapsed was a wake-up call from a dream.

She returned to the Grand Commandant's mansion with Lie Feng.

The Grand Commandant's wife, her sister-in-law Yang Wenhui, dressed in an elegant plain jacket, greeted her at the door, tears streaming down her face as she looked at her.

Shen Nanzi quickly walked over and hugged her, "Sister-in-law, don't worry! Cheng'er and I are both fine!"

Yang Wenhui was her best friend, and with Yang Wenhui's help, she eventually married Shen Minghan and had three sons and one daughter.

She wiped away her tears. "Xie Yan is a scoundrel. He openly defended that mother and child."

"He's really lost his mind. It's one thing to be a womanizer all day long, but now he's even having an affair with the Empress Dowager."

"I have truly let you down!"

Yang Wenhui, who was usually quiet, was now seething with anger and was imitating Shen Minghan's cursing tone.