Chapter 65 He knew how despicable those thoughts were.

Chapter 65 He knew how despicable those thoughts were.

Liu Jinzhang has been on leave for almost half a month.

As summer progressed, the sun grew increasingly scorching each day. He was already intolerant of the heat, and in recent days he felt increasingly unwell. Unable to bear it any longer, he submitted a request for leave.

He had always lived a frugal life, and it took him six years of savings from his official career to buy a two-courtyard house in the east of the city.

This stay lasted for five years.

The courtyard was simple, without any exquisite pavilions or terraces. There was only an old locust tree planted in the corner of the wall, with lush branches and leaves that could provide shade in the summer.

The family is small, with the widowed mother, who is nearly sixty years old, bedridden year-round and kept alive only by herbal medicine.

A servant boy named Shizhu was a distant nephew he had brought from his hometown; he was quite nimble-fed.

There was also a maid who was responsible for cleaning and cooking. She was introduced by a neighbor and was quick and efficient, but didn't talk much.

When he was in high school at the age of eighteen, he was full of ambition. With his sincerity and talent, he wanted to serve the country and make a name for himself in history.

But gradually, he discovered that the officialdom was far from the "bright and clear world" described in the books of sages.

Powerful families controlled most of the official positions, making it difficult for children from poor families, even those with extraordinary talent, to rise in the ranks.

In the evaluation of officials, even if the scions of powerful families are mediocre and incompetent, they can still be rated as "excellent"; while someone like him with no background, even if he is diligent and dedicated to public service, can at most only be rated as "average".

What chilled him even more was that when scions of prominent families made mistakes, there was always some "favor" to be shown, and they would only receive minor punishments as a warning.

He once witnessed Minister Lu's nephew using his family background to embezzle disaster relief funds to cover his own deficits. The evidence was conclusive, but his superiors suppressed it and only lightly punished him with a three-month salary deduction.

He was furious and wrote an impeachment memorial overnight, but the next day he was summoned by the Imperial Censor, who suppressed the memorial with the words, "You are new to officialdom and do not know the ways of the world."

As time went by, that youthful spirit was gradually worn down, and his lofty ambitions slowly faded away.

He watched as his colleagues either curried favor with the powerful or chose to protect themselves, while he felt like an outcast, remaining clear-headed and disgusted in the cracks, yet unable to change anything.

Just as he was becoming increasingly depressed and even contemplating resignation, the emperor appointed him as Li Yuanzhao's tutor.

This beloved princess was only a twelve-year-old girl at the time.

There were already rumors in the palace that this princess was exceptionally intelligent and had a photographic memory.

But when he heard this, he took it as just the usual overpraise from royal children and didn't take it to heart.

Until the day he taught her her first lesson, he entered the hall with the Analects in his hands and saw the girl sitting upright behind the desk, dressed in a pale yellow palace gown, her eyes still showing traces of childishness.

He was about to speak when he heard her clear voice ring out first, carrying a sharpness beyond her years.

"What makes you think you can be my teacher?"

The gleaming ambition and desire in those eyes were something he had never seen before.

He couldn't quite remember what he answered that day.

But from that moment on, he knew clearly in his heart that the person he longed for, the one who could change the court, had appeared.

In the days that followed, he taught her to read the Records of the Grand Historian, and she asked, "Why did the Marquis of Huaiyin, who had worked so hard and made so many contributions, not have a good end?"

He lectured on "The Art of War," and she pondered "how to subdue the enemy without fighting and dismantle the alliance of powerful families."

When he discussed the hardships of the people, she would ask, "If taxes are reformed, how will the powerful families retaliate, and how should we respond?"

She was like someone wielding a sword and axe, charging headlong into the stagnant court, determined to forge a new path.

He was merely a guide who taught her to identify thorns and traps.

They don't even qualify as passersby.

But he was willing to do it from beginning to end, and even enjoyed it.

Watching her grow from that girl into the powerful princess who can handle matters of state with ease, and seeing her get closer and closer to her goal.

He knew better than anyone that he was no longer just a "master," but a believer who had pinned half his life's hopes on her.

He never cared that she was a woman.

Li Yuanzhao's ambition, talent, and ruthlessness have long transcended gender.

She was born to stand at the highest point and become an emperor whose name would be etched in history.

But now, this path has diverged.

He still doesn't understand why he persevered for so long.

At this point, she became so impatient, even to the point of losing her sense of proportion due to her eagerness for quick success.

Framing powerful ministers, indiscriminately killing innocent people, usurping power... none of these actions are those of a wise ruler.

He was her mentor, and also someone close to her.

Therefore, I don't want to see her make mistakes and cause a disaster.

What I fear even more is that all her hard work in the past half of her life will ultimately come to nothing, leaving her with the infamy of being a "traitorous minister," nailed to the pillar of shame in history books, and condemned by future generations.

Moreover, after spending so many years together, he had long harbored some inappropriate thoughts in secret.

He knew how vile those thoughts were.

She was the ruler, he was the subject; she was his student, he was her teacher.

This delusional idea, which transcended etiquette and social status, was something he himself deeply abhorred, yet he could not stop it from growing wildly.

He kept it buried deep in his heart and never uttered a single word that crossed the line.

Only when no one is around, facing that solitary lamp, do I silently endure this torment that cannot be seen in the light.

Even so, what he hoped for most was that she would be upright and have a smooth future.

If it really comes to the worst possible moment, if someone has to pave the way for her, if someone has to bear the blame for her, then I would be willing to let him die in her place.

In short, she shouldn't have to bear those burdens.

But now, since we can neither change her mind nor help her anymore, we might as well take a different approach and relieve her of her worries.

Liu Jinzhang slowly stood up, walked to the courtyard wall, and looked at the old locust tree whose branches and leaves swayed in the wind.

He pulled out a pre-written letter from his sleeve, containing only a few words, but it was a piece of advice that he had kept in his heart for a long time.

In the letter, he further stated that he was willing to resign from his position as Grand Tutor and go to the Emperor to request that a girls' school be established at the Imperial Academy, with him serving as the head instructor, so as to train more female officials for the court.

In this court, there are still too few officials who truly follow her. The powerful families are deeply entrenched, and even those from humble backgrounds have many concerns.

Women, being equally vulnerable in this patriarchal court, would naturally stand with her, who was also a woman.

He was willing to train a group of well-educated and knowledgeable female officials to manage various ministries.

Only in this way can we find a new path for her in this game of chess.