Side Story 4: The Cheating Sparrow

Side Story 4: The Cheating Sparrow

For Pei Niannian, life at the academy could be summed up in two words: torment.

Especially when Master Sun strode in with an air of superiority, holding a scroll in his hand, and announced with a smile:

"The weather is lovely today. Let's have a pop quiz and recite the poem 'Guanju' from the Book of Songs."

Pei Niannian felt like the sky was about to fall.

"The ospreys cry, on the islet in the river..."

She bit the brush handle, staring at the dazzling white Xuan paper in front of her, her mind a complete blank except for the two bird calls.

Last night I was so busy taking Dabai to the back garden to catch crickets that I didn't even bother to memorize a single word of my books, which Dabai used as a pillow.

She turned to look at her younger brother beside her.

Four-year-old Pei An sat upright, holding a brush in his little hand, writing on the paper with flowing strokes.

Although the handwriting was immature, it already revealed a certain style and spirit.

"An'an..."

Pei Niannian called out softly, trying to seek help from inside the arena.

Pei An paused, turned slightly to the side, and used his arm to completely block his exam paper.

That expressionless little face was filled with three big words: Impossible.

"You stingy little thing!" Pei Niannian gritted her teeth in anger.

As the incense in the censer was about to burn out, Master Sun's hawk-like eyes scanned the surroundings.

"There's no other way but to resort to 'special measures'!"

Pei Niannian's eyes darted around, her gaze drifting towards the window.

A sparrow was perched on the window frame, preening its feathers.

Hey! You hairy little guy!

Pei Niannian activated the beast language magnetic field and whispered it in her mind.

The sparrow was startled and looked around:

[Chirp? Who's calling for Master Sparrow?]

[Here! The prettiest one in the red dress in the room!]

Pei Niannian boasted without blushing:

[Urgent! Please fly in quickly and help me see what's written on that piece of paper on the podium! If you tell me, this osmanthus cake is yours!]

She quietly pulled a half-melted pastry from her sleeve.

[Chirp! Deal!]

The sparrow is greedy; it will betray you as soon as it sees food.

It flapped its wings and flew in through the window, swaggering down onto Master Sun's lectern. It pretended to peck at the ink spots on the table, but actually stretched its neck to look at the standard answer sheet.

Master Sun was inspecting the area below and did not notice the little bird that had wandered in.

[Quick, tell us! What's the first sentence?]

Pei Niannian gripped the pen tightly with excitement.

The sparrow stared wide-eyed at the sheet of rice paper covered with tiny characters.

Then, it fell into deep thought.

It's a sparrow, and it can't read!

But tempted by the osmanthus cake, it decided to try its best to describe what it saw:

[Chirp! I saw it!]

The first one is something that looks like a bug (closed)!

[The second one is also that bug!]

The third one is a bunch of messy tree branches (like those of an osprey)!

The fourth one is a flattened bird (dove)!

Pei Niannian: "???"

Insects? Twigs? Flattened birds?

What kind of scribbling is this?!

Can you read it aloud?!

Pei Niannian became anxious.

[Read it? I can!]

The sparrow confidently opened its beak:

[Chirp! Chirp! Coo! Chirp!]

Pei Niannian: "..."

She was desperate.

She forgot that there are insurmountable cultural barriers between species.

This illiterate sparrow can't understand human language at all!

"Time's up! Collect your papers!"

Master Sun slammed his ruler on the table.

Pei Niannian looked at her still blank exam paper, and then at the sparrow that was still waiting for the osmanthus cake.

With a determined heart, she wrote with flowing, powerful strokes.

Since we can't write words, let's write realistically!

...

Fifteen minutes later.

A heart-wrenching roar echoed from Master Sun's study.

"Pei—Nian—Nian!!!"

Master Sun's hands trembled as he held up the "exam paper".

There is no "Guan Ju" or "Fair Lady" mentioned above.

There is only one painting.

The painting depicts a fat, cross-eyed sparrow standing on a table, defecating.

Next to it was a line of large, crooked characters:

[Birds chirping and flowers blooming.]

"Rotten wood! It cannot be carved!"

Master Sun was so angry his beard almost flew off his feet.

"We must ask your father to come over; this book can't be taught anymore!"

...

Half an hour later.

Regent Pei Yunjing, dressed in black, appeared at the academy with a frosty expression.

The moment he entered the door, Master Sun, who had been raging, instantly became like a chicken with its neck being choked, his momentum diminishing by half.

"Your Highness..."

Master Sun wiped away his cold sweat and, mustering his courage, handed over the "exam paper":

"Look! This is the Book of Songs that your daughter copied from memory! This...this is a great disrespect to the sages!"

Pei Niannian stood in the corner, head down, hands behind her back, looking like she was saying, "I was wrong, but I'll do it again next time."

Pei Yunjing took the paper.

He glanced down at the sparrow with its peculiar appearance and arrogant demeanor.

Master Sun thought the regent was about to get angry, and was about to add fuel to the fire.

"Oh."

Pei Yunjing suddenly chuckled softly.

He extended his slender fingers and flicked the paper, his tone surprisingly carrying a hint of...appreciation?

"Well drawn."

Master Sun: "???"

Pei Niannian: "!!!"

Pei Yunjing turned around and handed the paper back to Master Sun, his face displaying an air of self-righteous protectiveness:

"Didn't the Grand Tutor realize it?"

"This bird is painted so lifelike, with a lively expression, that it has the style of a master."

He pointed to the line "chattering" and started spouting nonsense with a straight face:

"As for this word... 'Guanju' is a poem about birds. Niannian is returning to simplicity and truth, going beyond the surface of words to get to the essence of things."

"This is what we call—artistic conception."

Pei Yunjing gave a cold glance to the dumbfounded Master Sun:

"As a teacher, does the Grand Tutor not even have the basic ability to appreciate beauty?"

Master Sun gaped, feeling that his teaching career had been greatly impacted.

What a beautiful imagery!

It's just graffiti!

Regent, can't you at least have some basic principles of law instead of protecting your own?!

"Alright."

Pei Yunjing didn't want to listen to nonsense, so he directly took out a silver note from his pocket and slammed it on the table:

"I think this painting is excellent. This silver note is for the academy to repair its roof."

"As for Nian Nian..."

He walked to the corner, picked up the little girl who was secretly laughing, and kissed her on her chubby cheek.

"Let's go home."

"Daddy will take you to eat that... sparrow in the painting."

"Yay! Long live Daddy!"

Pei Niannian cheered, hugged Pei Yunjing's neck, and made a face at Master Sun.

Watching the father and daughter walk away.

Master Sun held the thousand-tael silver note in his hand and looked at the exam paper with a sparrow drawn on it.

He looked up to the sky and sighed, "The Pei family's upbringing... is truly unique!"