Chapter 243 If Pei Yunjing could understand animal language

Chapter 243 If Pei Yunjing could understand animal language

This is a story set in a parallel universe.

Here, Tang Li is just an ordinary, slightly greedy and lustful concubine's daughter who was married off in place of another man.

The person with the "golden touch" is Pei Yunjing, the regent of the Great Sheng Dynasty.

...

Early morning, in the Regent's Palace study.

Pei Yunjing sat upright behind his desk, holding a vermilion brush, his brows furrowed. It wasn't because he was busy with official duties, but because—it was too noisy.

On the tree branch outside the window, there was the magnificent gyrfalcon "Lightning".

At this moment, it tilted its head, staring intently at the top of Pei Yunjing's head with its sharp eagle eyes, uttering a series of shrill complaints that only Pei Yunjing could understand:

[Tsk tsk tsk! My hair ornament is crooked today!]

[The left side is a little too high! How come this stupid two-legged creature can't even comb its own hair?]

[And that hairpin, the color is so old-fashioned, it doesn't match his black clothes at all! It's so ugly!]

"..."

Pei Yunjing's hand holding the pen trembled slightly, and the veins on his forehead bulged. He took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to shoot down the dead bird, and raised his hand to straighten his hair ornament.

【Huh? It's correct now?】

Lightning preened his feathers regretfully: "How boring. I was hoping to see him get laughed at by the mother bird when he went out."

Pei Yunjing: "Get lost."

Lightning was startled and flapped its wings and flew away.

The world is a little quieter now.

But not long after, a light footstep sound came.

Tang Li carried a bowl of bird's nest porridge and walked in with graceful steps. Today she was wearing a pink dress, which made her look especially charming and lovely.

"Your Highness~"

Tang Li smiled obsequiously and placed the bird's nest on the table:

"You've worked hard. This is bird's nest that I specially prepared for you (actually, it was prepared in the kitchen). Drink it while it's hot."

Looking at her face, which was full of "virtuous and kind," Pei Yunjing was about to praise her for being "thoughtful."

Big White, the white-browed tiger who had been dozing in the corner of the study, suddenly opened one eye, lazily yawned, and let out a deafening mental sound:

Ugh...this woman's acting again.

[He's clearly trying to curry favor with you for your monthly allowance, why is he pretending to be so affectionate?]

Pei Yunjing paused in his tea-serving hand.

Big White rolled over, continuing its relentless mental ranting:

And you too, you big oaf.

They've practically offered themselves up, so why are you still pretending to be a gentleman?

[I've been staring at her neck for ages. If you want to kiss her, just do it! Stop beating around the bush, is that not right?]

[Why don't you just pounce on him and bite his throat (or kiss him)? Do I have to teach you? You're a disgrace to males!]

"Cough cough cough!"

Pei Yunjing coughed, his ears turning bright red, from being choked by the raucous words.

He glared fiercely at the tiger in the corner.

Shut up! Do you think everyone is like you, a beast who goes into heat regardless of the situation?

Tang Li, puzzled, quickly stepped forward to pat his back: "Your Highness? What's wrong? Is it too hot?"

Looking into her innocent, big eyes, Pei Yunjing's romantic thoughts were completely ruined by the tiger.

He awkwardly pushed her hand away: "It's nothing."

Tang Li was somewhat disappointed. She withdrew her hand and secretly grumbled to herself:

[This man is such a blockhead! I've made it so obvious, and he doesn't even react? What a cold-blooded skinflint!]

However, the next second, Pei Yunjing's eyes suddenly became deep and dangerous.

He turned his head abruptly, stared at Tang Li, and said in a cool tone:

"What did my beloved concubine just mentally... curse me for?"

Tang Li was startled, her eyes widening: "Ah? I didn't! I was only thinking about Your Highness's wisdom and might..."

"Is that so?" Pei Yunjing sneered.

Although he couldn't hear Tang Li's inner thoughts, he did hear... the little hamster hiding in Tang Li's sleeve betraying him.

[Squeak! She's calling you a shrew!]

She said you're clueless about romance! She said you're a real tightwad!

She also said that once she's saved enough money, she'll divorce you and go find ten gigolos!

Pei Yunjing's face instantly turned as black as the bottom of a pot.

OK.

A miser? A penny-pincher? And he wants to find ten gigolos?

"Tangli".

Pei Yunjing stood up and approached her step by step until he cornered her at the edge of the desk, leaving her with nowhere to retreat.

Do you think... that because I can't hear you, I don't know what you're thinking?

He lowered his head, his nose touching hers, his voice low and dangerous: "Want to divorce me? Want to find a gigolo?"

Tang Li was terrified.

Does this man...can he read minds?!

She only thought about it for a second!

"N-No, that's not true!"

Tang Li shook her head violently, cold sweat pouring down her face: "My admiration for the Prince is as boundless as the surging river..."

"snort."

Pei Yunjing reached out, but instead of punishing her, he precisely pulled out a small hamster that was frantically munching on sunflower seeds from her sleeve pocket.

He grabbed the hamster by the scruff of its neck and waved it in front of Tang Li: "From now on, don't carry this thing with you."

"It's a chatterbox."

After saying that, he casually tossed the hamster to Big White (who disdainfully slapped it away), then looked back at Tang Li, a meaningful smile playing on his lips:

"As for what you owe me... we'll settle it slowly tonight."

...

Night falls.

Tangli simply couldn't stand this terrifying life with "no privacy" anymore.

She felt that this palace was poisonous, and Pei Yunjing was even more poisonous!

Every time she tries to do something bad or hide some money, Pei Yunjing can always find out immediately, as if he has a surveillance camera installed on her!

"No, we have to run!"

While Pei Yunjing was taking a bath, Tang Li carried a small bundle that she had prepared beforehand. It was filled with valuables such as gold and silver, as well as her favorite dried meat.

Goodbye, you skinflint!

Tang Li tiptoed open the window, preparing to escape by climbing out.

However, before she could even take one leg out...

"Squeak! Squeak!"

The spare hamster she had just rescued and was keeping warm against her chest suddenly let out an excited squeal.

[Run! Run! We're escaping!]

We're off to fly away with the gold! That big oaf is still taking a shower! You idiot!

"..."

The door to the inner room was pulled open with a "whoosh".

Pei Yunjing appeared behind Tang Li wearing only a single garment, his hair wet, radiating heat and murderous intent.

Tangli had one leg still hanging on the windowsill as she stiffly turned her head back.

Pei Yunjing leaned against the door frame, arms crossed, looking at her with a half-smile, his eyes full of mockery that said, "I'll just watch you act."

"My beloved concubine, where are you... going?"

He asked slowly.

"Um... the moon is so beautiful tonight, I... I came out to admire it."

Tangli tried to pull her leg back and explained awkwardly.

Pei Yunjing stepped forward, grabbed the window, and cornered her against the wall.

He lowered his head, his gaze sweeping over the bulging area on her chest, listening to the hamster inside still obliviously shouting, "I've been spotted! Run!"

"Moon viewing?"

Pei Yunjing reached out and, through his clothes, precisely pinched the hamster that was trying to "escape," lifted it out, and casually tossed it out the window.

Then, he looked at Tang Li, a wicked smile curling at the corner of his mouth:

"I heard you wanted to run away?"

"You think you can just run away with my gold?"

Tang Li really wanted to cry at that moment.

Where did she slip up?!

"Your Highness...please let me explain..."

No explanation needed.

Pei Yunjing leaned in and pinned her against the wall, his warm breath brushing against her ear:

"The hamster in your arms... has confessed everything."

"Since you want to run..."

He bit her earlobe, his voice hoarse and domineering, brooking no resistance.

"Then you'll be punished... to stay in this 'Demon-Locking Tower' all night, and you're not allowed to go anywhere."