Chapter 95 Auspicious Omens from Heaven
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Chapter 95 Auspicious Omens from Heaven
Inside a private room of the teahouse.
Tang Li looked down at the "down-on-his-luck scholar" who was mingling in the crowd, thinking he was getting away with it, and her eyes gleamed with the light of a triumphant prank.
She picked up her teacup, as if offering a toast, and raised it towards the empty space outside the window:
"My men, heed my command!"
There's no need to peck or scratch him.
Tangli's instructions were clearly transmitted to the minds of every sparrow, carrying with them an utterly ridiculous mischievousness:
All you need to do is one thing—pull it hard and precisely onto his head!
[Whoever pulls the most accurately and the most will be rewarded with fine rice mixed with lard!]
【Chirp! Received!】
[For the sake of lard! I'm going to poop too!]
That scholar's head is so shiny, he's a good target!
Above the sky, hundreds of sparrows, like a bomber squadron receiving a charge, quickly adjusted their formation and gathered above the "scholar's" head.
...
At the head of Changsheng Bridge, crowds surged.
The lone wolf hugged the fake doll in his arms, lowered his head, and tried his best to conceal his aura, making himself look like a timid and poor scholar who brought his child to see the lanterns.
He glanced at the black-armored guards in the distance out of the corner of his eye.
Very well, those idiots were still staring at the burly men and swordsmen passing by, and no one paid any attention to him, this frail scholar.
"There's still a quarter of an hour left..."
Lone Wolf silently calculated the time in his mind, a sinister smile curling at the corner of his mouth.
As soon as the Regent's carriage crossed the bridge, he would set it on fire.
Just when he was feeling smug and thought he was about to succeed.
Suddenly, a warm, moist sensation came from between my eyebrows.
"Smack."
A very slight, crisp sound.
Lone Wolf paused for a moment.
Is it raining?
Wait a minute, the moon is bright and the stars are few tonight, where did the rain come from?
He subconsciously reached out and wiped his forehead.
It feels smooth to the touch, with white and green stripes, and it has a freshly baked feel and... an indescribable fishy smell.
Bird droppings.
"..."
Lone Wolf's face twitched violently.
unlucky!
On such an important mission, I was drenched in birds as soon as I stepped outside!
"Damn beast..."
He cursed under his breath, forcing himself to suppress his nausea, and pulled out a tattered cloth to wipe the grime off his forehead.
To avoid attracting attention, he made very small movements.
However.
Just as he wiped his forehead clean and prepared to continue on his way.
"Pat, pat, pat!"
It was as if God had heard his curses and specially given him an extra meal.
Three more fresh, substantial clumps of bird droppings rained down from the sky like a barrage of arrows!
This time, it's not between the eyebrows.
A lump landed on his left shoulder.
A lump fell into the back of his neck and slid down his spine (it was chilling).
The last, and largest, lump landed precisely on the face of the "fake doll" he was using as a disguise.
"!!!"
The lone wolf suddenly stopped in his tracks.
He was stiff all over, and could even feel the slippery sensation on his back.
coincide?
This is absolutely a coincidence!
What bird specifically targets people when they poop?
He took a deep breath and told himself to stay calm, not to expose himself, and to endure.
So he quickened his pace, trying to find a different spot and avoid this "unlucky area".
However, something strange happened.
No matter which way he goes—left, right, or even into the most crowded area—he can go.
The dark cloud (a flock of sparrows) above his head seemed to grow on his head, always following him like a shadow!
[Chirp! He's moving! Follow him!]
[Ready—Fire!]
"Crackling and popping—"
This isn't rain, this is shit.
This is a "storm" specifically tailored for Lone Wolf.
In just a few dozen breaths.
The once clean blue robe of the lone wolf was now covered with dense white spots.
Bird droppings were everywhere – on my headscarf, my shoulders, even my eyebrows.
He looked like a terracotta warrior just pulled out of a cesspool.
This spectacular sight finally caught the attention of the surrounding residents.
The originally crowded people seemed to be parted by an invisible hand.
The people covered their noses and retreated in disgust and fear, creating a three-meter-diameter "vacuum zone" for the lone wolf in the crowded Changsheng Bridge.
"Oh my god! Look at that person!"
"How disgusting! Did this person disturb a bird's nest?"
"Ugh, get away from me! Get away from me! It stinks!"
Several superstitious old women pointed at the lone wolf and discussed it loudly:
"This person must have done something utterly despicable! He's been punished by heaven!"
"Yes, yes, yes! This is the legendary 'heavenly auspicious bird'! Even the heavens couldn't stand it anymore, so they specially sent a divine bird to punish him!"
"Hurry up and go, don't let bad luck touch you!"
Originally, Lone Wolf's proud "Thousand Faces Shrinking Bone Skill" relied on blending into the crowd and making himself inconspicuous.
But now...
He stood in the center of the open space, his head covered in bird droppings, becoming the focus of tens of thousands of eyes in the audience!
What disguise?
What do you mean by invisibility?
All of these effects are rendered useless in the face of this extremely visually striking and olfactorily lethal "bird droppings battle robe"!
He's the brightest, most stinky, and most unmissable guy on this street tonight!
The lone wolf stood there, listening to the whispers and pointing fingers of those around him, feeling the "gifts" still falling from above, and finally his mentality completely collapsed.
His sinister eyes blazed with murderous rage.
Damn bird!
Damn God!